Friday, January 15, 2016

it hurts

I am feeling some terrible pain right now.

I miss wren. I feel so alone without her. Her humor, her cussing, her attention, her nerdiness. Her love.

I miss reading her writing. I miss writing with her. I miss morph. He's with me but...it's not the same. He's in agony. I can feel it. I have trouble not thinking about it.

The suicidal thoughts are weak now. Sobriety makes the pain a lot clearer. It's strange to me to deliberately choose to feel the feels. These feels are strangers to me. Interesting bedfellows I guess?

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